Notable (Direct to) DVD Releases – April 10, 2012
One of my secret passions is the direct to DVD industry. While Hollywood spends billions of dollars each year on tentpoles and rehashes, smaller studios are churning out product for the home markets that generally get ignored by a large segment of the movie watching public. It’s time to give these movies some notice, and every Tuesday I will sift through the countless releases to find ones I think are notable for a variety of reasons. Maybe it’s got a great cast. Maybe it has an interesting plot. Maybe it’s a film festival darling. Or maybe, just maybe, it looks ridiculously bad and people need to read my “super funny” diatribes against it (“super funny” being subjective and often times wrong). Let’s see if we can find some hidden gems in the dark cave of the home release. Many thanks to DVDReleases.org for existing and being the source for the plot synopses and release dates.
This week: quirky rom coms, zombies, murderous Australians, and most importantly, a dog so gosh darn cute its mere existence saves the lives of everyone around him. Awww.
The Weekend A-Waits: “Fish in the Jailhouse”
Everybody’s weekend needs a Tom Waits song on its soundtrack, and The Weekend A-Waits is here to oblige (and also make you roll your eyes at how stupid the title is). Every Friday, I’ll be posting a different Tom Waits song from his vast, vast, vast library. Occasionally there will be musings about it; other times, it’ll just be the song itself because, frankly, why read some drivel when there’s musical genius to be absorbed?
To kick this off, I’m going with the song that first got me into Tom Waits: Fish in the Jailhouse, off his 2006 3-CD set Orphans, Brawlers, Bawlers, and Bastards. After hearing this song for the first time, I was floored and had to immediately listen to it at least ten more times in a row. Since then it’s a song I listen to at least once a week, sometimes singing along in my terrible Waits impression (needs more Whiskey and age). For anyone new to Tom Waits, it’ll be a good introduction to his unique sound.
Have a good weekend, everyone; smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
Horowitz Wins! Horowitz Wins!: The Rise (And Quick Fall) of Wrestling’s Most Notorious “Jobber”
This article was originally published on October 31, 2011 and has been re-edited and re-written to make it suck less (don’t worry I wrote the original, so I’m not punching anyone’s dignity in the face…except mine). For the original article in its entirety, visit Pro Wrestling Nostalgia.
In the time before the Monday Night Wars pro wrestling television was a largely mundane affair, with most shows being one hour commercials for their upcoming pay per views and arena events. Not wanting to give away their big matches for free companies relied on “squash matches”, quick non-competitive bouts where the name wrestler would showcase his moves for two minutes on an opponent whose sole purpose in the contest was to make the “money” guy look good. These bottom rung competitors were known as “jobbers” or “enhancement talent”. If you followed a promotion for a long enough time, these men became familiar and household names in and of themselves and in the World Wrestling Federation there was perhaps no “enhancement talent” better known than Barry Horowitz.
Although an accomplished wrestler on the independent scene, when the cameras rolled on a WWF show it was Horowitz’s job to take the punishment and either lay down for the three count or submit quickly to his opponent’s “devestating” submission hold. But Horowitz had what most of the other enhancement talents lacked: personality. Horowitz played the “heel” persona brilliantly and had the gimmick of patting himself on the back in a smug fashion (he even went so far as to wear a ring jacket with a giant hand on the back, just in case you weren’t paying attention and couldn’t pick up the cues). Through out the late 80′s and early 90′s, if a wrestler was needing to look good Horowitz was called in and he became a weekly fixture. But no matter how good at his job he was, it seemed like he was never going to get a break. But in 1995, Horowitz’s loyalty and hard work finally paid off.
Red Band Trailer Alert: TED, Starring Mark Wahlberg and Seth MacFarlane
Seth MacFarlane has conquered the world of popular culture thanks to the massive success of Family Guy (and American Dad too I guess), which has earned him not only a loyal fanbase but a very vocal contingent hell bent on his eradication from the world of entertainment. Love him or hate him there’s no denying the man has one of hell of a work ethic, and now he’s moving on to conquering the big screen next with the release of this summer’s Ted, starring Mark Wahlberg and MacFarlane himself as the voice of a talking CGI bear (he also wrote and directed the movie, because he’s completely insane and is probably a cyborg). The official red band trailer was released last night and in case you were too busy avoiding the internet because of April Fool’s Day, you can check it out below. NSFW by the way, in case you don’t know what a red band trailer is (I assume you do, but I don’t want to get anyone fired…probably).
Ted‘s official synopsis goes a little something like this:
Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane brings his boundary-pushing brand of humor to the big screen for the first time as writer, director and voice star of Ted. In the live action/CG-animated comedy, he tells the story of John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), a grown man who must deal with the cherished teddy bear who came to life as the result of a childhood wish…and has refused to leave his side ever since.
Not being a fan of Wahlberg and my interest in Family Guy at an all-time low, I wasn’t holding out high hopes for Ted but this trailer has completely sold me. It’s definitely going to rely on swearing to make it funny, but I have no problem with that as a comedic device (it’s one of the reasons Semi-Pro is as watchable as it is) and the two comedy bits shown in the trailer (Ted beating on John asking for his engagement ring, the white trash name speed round) had me in tears. Seth MacFarlane fans are going to eat this up, especially now that he’ll get to go full out with his comedy and not be beholden to network censors. But will others? I really hope so. Ted has the potential to be the funniest comedy of the year…and that’s something I never expected to say about a movie featuring Mark Wahlberg and a crappy looking CGI bear.
Ted hits theaters July 13, 2012.
Trailer Alert: TOTAL RECALL
After teasing the trailer earlier this week, a practice that should be stomped out immediately I might add, the trailer for Total Recall was officially released today on Apple. Check it out below courtesy of the folks at ScreenCrush.
The synopsis is as follows:
Total Recall is an action thriller about reality and memory, inspired anew by the famous short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick. Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) who he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police – controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), the leader of the free world – Quaid teams up with a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) to find the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy) and stop Cohaagen. The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate.
Alright, so apparently this Total Recall is not a remake of the 1990 Paul Verhoeven action classic of the same name; instead it’s just another spin on the source material. But since the Dick story was used for both, it looks like Total Recall will be hitting the same story beats, just in a more synthetic looking futuristic world and devoid of any connection to Mars (insert crack at John Carter here if you want). But even though they are two radically different takes, the new Total Recall has a hell of a mountain to climb with fans of the Verhoeven original and this trailer didn’t help matters since it made Len Wiseman‘s version seem like a generic action movie (Verhoeven’s is the polar opposite of that). Even though Total Recall does look a bit generic and (as ScreenCrush writer Jacob Hall pointed out in his article) feels a bit like deja vu, I’m willing to give it a shot. I’ve got a hard on for futuristic cityscapes, brought on by growing up on Blade Runner and The Fifth Element (two movies this one definitely were inspired by visually), and part of me thinks there is more going on in this Total Recall than Sony feels like divulging (which, given the habits of mainstream moviegoers, shouldn’t be that surprising). If anything, Bryan Cranston will salvage Total Recall based on his performance alone.
Total Recall hits theaters August 3, 2012.
Movie Review: WOMB (2012)
Unrated, but features awkward clone-cestual situations and a child’s ass. Also probably swearing. But mostly the two other things I said.
Starring: Eva Green, Matt Smith, Lesley Manville, Hannah Murray
Written and Directed by: Benedek Fliegauf
The exploration of human cloning is not a new thing in the realm of science fiction; for decades, films have tackled the subject, with mostly action-oriented results. Womb, the first English-language film from Hungarian director Benedek Flieghauf, approaches human cloning in a different, more cerebral way; by stripping away all the sci-fi (read: CGI futuristic) jazz that other movies traditionally throw in. Womb tells a very human story about the psychological difficulties that arise once cloning has already taken place. But while it approaches the idea with a fresh take, and with two very good performances at its center, Womb ultimately suffers from too much of a slow burn and a lack of characterization. Sometimes you need more than a mood to grab you.
[Continue Reading on The Film Stage]
Grade: C+
Movie Review: THE HUNGER GAMES (2012)
Rated PG-13 for intense violent thematic material and disturbing images – all involving teens
Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Woody Harrelson, Donald Sutherland
Written by: Gary Ross/Suzanne Collins
Directed by: Gary Ross
Read The Hunger Games (Hardcover or Kindle)
The once proud continent of North America has given way to a totalitarian state known as Panem where the rich and powerful Capitol lords over 12 poor worker bee Districts. As a response to an uprising of its people many years ago, the Capitol instituted a yearly competition known as “The Hunger Games”; in a ceremony known as “The Reaping”, a boy and girl age 12-18 is randomly selected from each District as “Tributes” to do battle in a televised death match. These Games not only serve as entertainment for those fortunate enough to live in the Capitol, but also as a reminder of who really is in charge of Panem.
This is the bleak dystopian future presented in The Hunger Games, based on the 2008 novel by Suzanne Collins. Jennifer Lawrence stars as Katniss Everdeen, a 16 year old who resides in District 12 who volunteers for the Games after her younger sister Primrose (Willow Shields) is selected. Her and fellow District 12 Tribute Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson) are then whisked away to the Capitol where they undergo physical and survival training, are given advice by their mentor and former winner Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson), and are grilled on television by talk show host Caesar Flickerman (Stanley Tucci). All of this preparation leads up to the Games themselves, where the 24 participants are dropped into a game zone resembling a forest and are forced to kill one another until there is only one left.
The Hunger Games has been under a microscope since it was announced that Lionsgate was turning it into a movie. Since then, countless news pieces have been written about every stage of its production and the Lionsgate marketing team has inundated the movie blogs with tons of photos, trailers, and posters. And while that seems to be working to their benefit, those of you not swayed by a swanky marketing machine will be glad to know that The Hunger Games is deserving of all the press; it’s a competent science fiction movie with a heavy emotional core and one of the stronger female leads in recent movie history. Its story is engaging through out, and from a visual standpoint its design is very appealing (as appealing as a dystopian world can be anyway). But while The Hunger Games has truly effective performances and moments, it also suffers from a few noticeable and distracting flaws, especially when it concerns the pacing.
[Continue Reading on Man, I Love Films]
Grade: B
Trailer Alert: David Cronenberg’s COSMOPOLIS
The teaser for Cosmopolis, the latest film from David Cronenberg, hit the internet earlier today and caused an outpouring of positive buzz. Consider me on their side. Check out the trailer below, followed by some reactions by yours truly. Oh and it’s NSFW by the way. I don’t want you blaming me for getting fired from your job.
I have long been defending Robert Pattinson; yes he’s the star of a much reviled franchise where everyone appears to be giving their D game, but if you look at his non-Twilight choices you’ll find an actor who is striving to do interesting things rather than play it safe (Remember Me, Bel Ami, hell even Water for Elephants). He’s got the potential to be a tremendous actor and I think that with Cosmopolis he’s finally going to turn the heads that have been too stubborn to give him a chance over the past few years. It helps that the movie itself looks insane; from self-inflicted gunshot wounds to what appears to be dinosaurs running through Times Square, Cosmopolis is coming off quite unhinged and that’s a wonderful thing. This also marks the return of Cronenberg doing more provocative work after a few movies of playing it safe himself; I could easily double feature this with his 1992 film Crash and not blink an eye.
Cosmopolis starts seeing release in May in Europe, with a U.S. release scheduled sometime this year as well.
Related Reading: Robert Pattinson Signs On to David Cronenberg’s Cosmopolis (January 2011 news piece I wrote for The Film Stage)
Movie Review: BULLHEAD (2011)
Starring: Matthias Schoenaerts, Jeroen Perceval, Jeanne Dandoy, Barbara Sarafian
Written and Directed by: Michael R. Roskam
Pre-order Bullhead on DVD (or Blu-ray)
Nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at this year’s Academy Awards, the Belgian import Bullhead is now starting to gain a little more steam as the award shows draws near. Taking place in the seedy world of cattle farming (you read that right), the movie is simultaneously a crime drama and a dark character study with a heavy focus on the struggle with manhood. Juggling these two stories together is no easy feat, butBullhead hits it out of the park, creating a captivating and complex story with a star-making performance from Matthias Schoenaerts.
Schoenaerts stars as Jacky Vanmarsenille, a Flemish cattle farmer in Belgium who partakes in the seedier side of the business; namely the use of illegal hormones to quickly grow his stock. Jacky is also an abuser of hormones himself, taking obscene amounts of steroids and other growth supplements to overcompensate for a trauma he experienced as a child. When his boss makes a deal with the shady “hormone mafia”, Jacky instantly knows that there’s something wrong; and if that wasn’t enough, his childhood friend Diederik Maes (Jeroen Perceval) re-enters his life sending Jacky into a tailspin. From there everything spins out of control both professionally and personally.
[Continue Reading on Man, I Love Films]
Grade: A-
